overexposed
" Fashion is made to become unfashionable "
Coco Chanel
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" Fashion is made to become unfashionable "
Coco Chanel
Sunday, February 26, 2006
my poor eyes... @2:14:00 PMi'm going blind!
yes... i believe so.
stupid Bausch and Lomb ReNu contacts lens solution!
how dare u sell contact lens solution that causes infection!
HOW DARE YOUUUUU!!!so many people believe in you and did this to us!
i mean didn't they like detect it before they started selling like so many years ago?
totally no excuse!
even if u started to manufacture it you should still keep on experimenting to make sure its really 100% safe. you mean after you start selling the solution you just leave it and don't bother about the feedback or anything?
thats just being lazy!
but i have to say that its awfully weird that all of a sudden people say that it causes infections especially since i've been using this brand for like 3 over years? i had no such problem except recently, a few days ago before the news on the solution came out i have been excessively rubbing my eyes at night just before bed or when i just wake up.
i guess maybe its just because i'm tired or sleep really late or simply because i didn't remove my make-up properly. Especially since i don't use make-up remover coz i'm super broke so all the bits of mascara are not washed off properly and it goes into my eyes or something.
then the news came out.
and the sad thing is the day before it my sister just bought 2 huge bottles of it.
thanks man. wad good timing.
sigh...
we're all so broke that we haven't bought new contact lens solution hah.
so my sisters wear they're specs out most of the time
but i don't because i hate my specs, so ugly which my parents refuse to change for me
so i just continue using the solution.
honestly, its not so bad.. but well, you never know.
plus, i always forgot to change my monthly disposable lens (oops)
most of the time, i just have no money to buy anymore just like now haha!
one day if i become blind u'll know why.
so if you love me and my beautiful eyes, buy me contact lens plus Complete MoisturePLUS contact lens solution(recommended by xiaxue)
THANKS! God will bless you for being kind to me wahahaha...
argh! when i become rich, which i will someday haha, i'll just go for the eye operation thingy,
how do u spell it? lasic surgery? las-something sugery la.
and then, i don't have to keep putting on contact lens or wear specs.
my eyes can be FREEEEEE!!!
i want colored contact lens, grey ones. i think its a nice color dont you think?
it'll fit perfectly with my eye make-up which is always black or blue-green.
i simply love dark colors.
read xiaxue's blog about using fake eyelashes.
and i totally agree that if you get a hang of putting on fake lashes it'll save you a lot of money and time. mascara is just so messy.sometimes its so hard to get rid of all the mascara and its really bad for your eyes.
but it seems rather scary to glue them to your eyelids haha.
but look wad they can do for your face!
it helped xiaxue and many others and most of all elva hsiao.
just looking at her, you know that fake lashes made her pretty and sweet.
so... my next investment shall be on fake lashes.
no to mascara!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
can u handle it? @12:06:00 AMyesterday i talked about being longsuffering and having a better attitude..
and immediately, today i'm tested..
honestly, its not the easiest thing in the world for me
for anyone..
i controlled as much as i could
but my stupid big mouth eldest sis just have to piss me off
today was supposed to be a happy day
went shopping, BOUGHT stuff, finally.
and my 2nd sis said she'll buy more clothes and a pair of shoes for me when she gets her pay soon!
bought a nice necklace from TOPSHOP, it costs $5 only!
usual price $16
and the black leggings(some pple call it tights)
which is in fashion for a while already
for $17, usual price $33
thats why i'm so happy..
and then came home and received a letter from my sch informing me i'm debarred from 'Professional Communication for Designers' class, just by the name of it you know how boring it is. anyway i found out long time ago already
just that today they sent mail
my eldest sis questioned me then i honestly told her
when my parents came home she said:
dajie: so u want me to tell them or u wanna say it yourself?
me: (thinking in my head... huh? wad thing?)
after 5 seconds
me:(oh! the debarred thingy)
dajie talking to my parents: she got debarred again!
then my parents nagged and nagged and my sis nagged too say i'm very stupid and everything and at that point i wanted to kill her already coz i hate it when she says i'm stupid, she has been confessing for the past 18 yrs of my life that i'm stupid and useless.. so i'm very sensitive to it
so i controlled my temper and silently sat there as they nagged
then she msged my 2nd sis who was not at home
telling her about me getting debarred then my 2nd sis ask me if i'm ok and ask me not to cry
haha... like wad the hell?
i will never cry bcoz of getting debarred.
ah whatever, i'm in a foul mood
i don't wish to be around my eldest sis..
God help me.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
live and learn @9:11:00 PMgonna start work soon, Dee is also attached there.
so i'm glad i have a friend there already although i'm not very close to her
8.30pm report to Wing Tai pte ltd. nervous.
hope i can wake up
had dinner wit zi n roy to celebrate her belated birthday
felt like ages since da 3 of us sat down together
i missed it... i hope we'll have more of such chances to meet up
before zi left she said something that touched my heart,
i don't know why i suddenly became so emotional and i just want her to know i treasure her!
how many 15 yr olds and 19 year olds can be so close? haha...
i always tell her she's da younger sister i never had.
we talked n talked.
i'm learning to listen more and talk less. haha.
for a change.
the things i wanna seriously achieve this year:
1. better attitude (listen more, talk less)
2. be filled wit the Holy Spirit everyday
3. train and improve my voice to sis bel's/nikki fletcher's standards
4. get rid of my tummy!
5. speak proper english
6. to love n be longsuffering
7. learn illustrator and vectors
i guess most pple will wonder why i say no.5 speak proper english right?
but i feel its almost humiliating when you communicate, give a presentation, go for an interview or even serve someone with bad english.
english is our main language, at least for me since i suck at chinese
the least i could do is speak good and proper english
no need for an accent.
i feel that if at the end of the year or even month and you look back at all the things that happened
and u didn't change or learn at all. you didn't live.
everyday is a new day, a learning experience
you learn about yourself, learn about others
learn not to do this and learn to do that.
today, i learned to love...
you learn about yourself, learn about others
learn not to do this and learn to do that.
today, i learned to love...
yes. =)
Friday, February 17, 2006
"my husband visited hookers on our honeymoon" @3:24:00 PM
no, i don't have a husbandits not me
it's an extract from FEMALE magazine March issue which i just read last night, a rather sad story about a really brave woman, Denise* (*not her real name of coz)
i shall be nice and type it ALL out for u to read..
"i 1st met Lee* about 6 yrs ago. 1 of his friends started dating 1 of my girlfriends, so our 2 grps of friends hung out casually going for movies, ktv and supper quite frequently.
i'd been dating someone for 4 yrs then, but thinigs got rocky btwn us after he lost a lot of $ gambling. Darryl* was very bad-tempered and i was often his whipping toy for things that weren't even my fault. we fought all the time, but i always gave in. My girlfriends kept telling me to dump the slacker. Although i wasn't interested, they started pushing me towards Lee*, whom they thought was a better choice because he was rich, handsome and quite the funny guy - he was always the centre of attention, cracking us up.
Oddly enough. Lee was the catalyst to my break-up: he had intervened when he caught Darryl* rouogh handling me one night after a fight and Lee* threatened to beat him up if he ever came near me again. that was the last i saw of my no-good ex. the concern Lee* showed in subsequent weeks, his phone calls and taking me out to cheer me up, made me see him as my 'knight in shining armour' and that quickly developed into a full-on crush, although i never let on.
For the longest time,we didn't know that Lee* had a gf - she never joined our grp outings and he certainly didn't mention her. We only found out from the other guys after Lee* disappeared off the radar for almost 6 months that Amy* his gf since JC, had dumped him for another guy. it really crushed him - apparently he had planned to propose to her that new year's eve but she called off their relationship in november before he even got the chance.
Even after Lee* and i got together, i've never dared broach the topic of Amy* bcoz i'm afraid he'll either fly off the handle or retreat into his own shell and shut me out. And that's how it's been with him since. he's gregarious most days but once in a while. something will light his fuse and he'd be sullen or hostile for weeks, i can only guess that certain things triggered memories of Amy* so i try to be understanding. i found out more about her from the guys, like how she was better educated than Lee* was and felt that his friends were crass. apparently she was such a control freak that he had to lie about 'entertaining clients' when he went out with his friends.
i wanted to be there for Lee* after his break up the way he had been for me but he was incommunicado for months. i was so glad when he finally reappeared from the rock he'd been hiding under since his break-up that i all but threw myself at him. He had lost a lot of weight, so on the pretext of nursing him back to health, i asked him out for dinner a few times a week. we became lovers within a month. my friends were concerned that he was still on the rebound. i knew it was probably true myself, but a part of me also felt like fate had intervened to finally bring us together. Except for the occasional mood swing, he was loving and attentive, a perfect boyfriend. when he prosposed - perhaps impulsively - after 3 months, i accepted. We had our ROM 4 months later in December 2002.
A wedding "gift" i had an inkling of Lee's sex drive before we got married, from his frequent demands for sex, as well as his open habit of watching and surfing for porn. It bothered me at 1st, but he insisted, ' if a man says he doesn't do porn, he's a liar'. i quickly leaned not to bug him about stuff like that, as he'd go stony faced and say, i'm warning you, you'd better not be like Amy* ', which chilled me because i still didn't know how he really felt about her. Murderous hatred mixed with grief?
Perhaps it was this insecurity that made me go along with it when he told me just before our ROM, to be prepared for his need for 'variety' in women. He said it so nonchalantly that i could only nod, stunned. I went home and cried for almost a week, but in the end, i still followed my heart and went ahead with the marriage. I loved him enough - i still do. And i know he really loves me. We had a simple wedding dinner with his family in Malaysia, then headed off to Japan for a 2 week honeymoon.
On our last night, we were strolling along entertainment strip in Tokyo when a pimp approached him with some girls' photos. i quickly pulled Lee* along, but even back at the hotel, he was distracted. Finally he told me that he wanted a Japanese girl before we left. i burst into tears and threw a fit, screaming at him that it was our honeymoon and that the least he could do was show me some respect. i honestly don't remember how he calmed me down, but i ended up agreeing to help him pick a girl. i had planned to pick the oldest and ugliest hooker i could find, but i took it a step further by choosing a chinese national instead of a japanese one. i was totally numb as i returned to our hotel alone to wait for him in our suite. He stumbled back drunk at 4am, chided me for making lousy choice and said that he'd picked 2 girls himself in the end, then gone karaoke with 'some friends'.
i couldn't speak to him until we got back to Singapore the following night. i was trying to hold myself together. i said i wanted to pass the snacks i'd bought to my friend, and left in a cab. i called one of my best friends and cried all the way till i got to her place. i couldn't bring myself to tell her at 1st - i felt so ashamed, yet u didn't want to tarnish her impression of him. i just sobbed and sobbed, probably for hours. She must have been so alarmed. i wanted to divorce him. i wanted to kill myself. i wanted to run away. The ironic thing was, Lee* though i was totally OK and actually SMS-ed me: 'don't stay too late. Your husband misses you.' How blind men can be!
i went back to our flat the next morning - i didn't want to impose on my friends, and i certainly couldn't go back to my mother's. When Lee* awoke around 4am, he knew immediately from my red, swollen eyes that something was wrong. Surprisingly, i could speak very calmly. Maybe it was my exhaustion, or maybe i had no more tears left. i told him that he had disgraced me by visiting porstitutes on our honeymoon, and that i couldn't be with a man who expected me to put up with his straying ways. He was very quiet at 1st. i half expected him to explode. But instead, he argued that it's better for him to pay for sex than have affairs - as he needed an outlet for his physical 'needs' without the emotional involvement. He admitted that he'd started going to prostitutes because, in the months leading up to his break-up with Amy*, she'd refused to sleep with him and he 'has needs'. i retorted that he now had me and didn't need to seek out other women for sex, but he merely replied,'it's different'.
i hope he'll outgrow this, i cannot say why, but i felt like i understood at that point and i stayed with him. This, despite knowing thatnhis trips to China with some other guys 3 times a year - were purely for sex. The burning humiliation i felt when Lee* and his friends opnely joked about their escapades in my presence, i masked with wisecracks and forced laughter. i know my friends feel sorry for me.
The topic of his infidelity has swept under the carpet, which is easy because Lee* is otherwise a great, attentiive husbadnwho provides for me. He's also proven to be a devoted father to our 14 month old daughter and he's even good to my mum, who is in the dark about my dysfunctional marriage. i was depressed for a while and suffered quite frequent hyperventilation attacks, always agonising about whether he was out with another woman, but i've been OK since having my baby. i think it has to do with our new living arrangements.
i now stay with my mum Mondays to Thursday, so that she can help me take care of my baby while i go to work. My deal with my husband is that he can do as he pleases during the week, but he must never bring other women back to our flat. Fridays to Saturdays are family days, and he has to spend time with us. We go shopping or take my daughter swimming, or he stays home to take care of her while i meet up with friends.
Sometimes my eldest sister takes care of my baby so that Lee* and i can go on 'dates' or for karaoke and drinks with friends. As long as he sticks to this deal, i don't say a thing. i don't even call him during the week to check if he's home or not - you can say that i prefer not to know. Although he's assured me that he practises safe sex with other women, i'm going to persuade him to go for regular check-ups for STIs.
In a way, this seperation has made him miss us more. He now calls me every night without fail and even comes over for dinner when he can. i know he still goes drinking with his friends. Whether or not his night ends with sex, i've told him i've decided it's not worth the anguish of wondering, to which he responded quite seriously, that he rarely does such things anymore.
i'm really hoping Lee* outgrows his womanising phase, and that, by the time our daughter is old enough to understand things, he would have settled down to be a one-woman family man. But if he refuses to stop, and there's nothing else i can do, i definitely want him to be more discreet for our daughter's sake. i don't want her growing up thinking that a husband's philandering is OK - i want a better fate for her."
THE END
I think she's really a forgiving and strong woman. Pitiful but i really respect her.
which one of us could be so understanding?
would u?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
i'm in pain..... @9:47:00 PMtoday has been an interesting interesting day
was reading da vinci code until 3 plus last nite
so i woke up at 1.16pm haha
then went downstairs to the best coffeeshop in the world
bought yummy half-spring chicken rice and my usual teh peng
which i HAVE to drink at least once everyday...
its the best coffee shop, really.
everythings nice or at least average
unlike most of the other coffeeshops...
went home, ate, watched american idol which i taped last nite
talked to my mum, helped her vacuum da floor since her leg hurts
i'm such a nice daughter...
then after that i went to exercise!
yeah u didn't read wrongly i actually exercise..
i'm getting fat, i have to exercise i hope this time i'll really do it 3 times a week
so.... i went downstairs and decided to run around the jamiyah old folk's home just opposite my house.. as i was running i passed by the small pavilion next to the exercise station downstairs.. there were 3 malay boys, 2 malay girls, sec sch kids... then as i ran 1 round i went past the pavilion again for the 2nd round and guess what
there was another malay girl, she was screaming and shouting angrily at all da malay people there then as i ran away from there i turned
was reading da vinci code until 3 plus last nite
so i woke up at 1.16pm haha
then went downstairs to the best coffeeshop in the world
bought yummy half-spring chicken rice and my usual teh peng
which i HAVE to drink at least once everyday...
its the best coffee shop, really.
everythings nice or at least average
unlike most of the other coffeeshops...
went home, ate, watched american idol which i taped last nite
talked to my mum, helped her vacuum da floor since her leg hurts
i'm such a nice daughter...
then after that i went to exercise!
yeah u didn't read wrongly i actually exercise..
i'm getting fat, i have to exercise i hope this time i'll really do it 3 times a week
so.... i went downstairs and decided to run around the jamiyah old folk's home just opposite my house.. as i was running i passed by the small pavilion next to the exercise station downstairs.. there were 3 malay boys, 2 malay girls, sec sch kids... then as i ran 1 round i went past the pavilion again for the 2nd round and guess what
there was another malay girl, she was screaming and shouting angrily at all da malay people there then as i ran away from there i turned
and i noticed 2 guys were holding her and another one of the guys was punching her in the stomach...
scary... a lot of people around were staring but i just ran...
eventually i ran home after that round and ran up 8 stories of stairs then went home... from the balcony window i looked for those malay kids again...
they were still screaming and shouting at each other... then the security guard of the old folks home came and interfered then they left...
my theory is that girl who was getting beaten up must have offended one of the other girls and the guys who are mostly likely the boyfriends of either of the girls so they helped to whack her...
lol.. poor girl, outnumbered... but she seemed like she deserve it coz she was so noisy!
after spying, i skipped rope for 5min, did some crunches, used the hoola hoop for 10min... hoping it'll break down my tummy fats..
after all that, i had a severe blackout. i was so scared..
blackouts are like this: suddenly, your head feels real heavy, u may fall because of the imbalance, at da same time ur vision starts to turn to darkness in the matter of seconds then it comes back and at the same time, ur eyes and head hurt real bad... you'll feel like all the blood in ur body suddenly decreased significantly in your body for that few seconds... in the end u end up in cold sweat and fear it'll happen again...
i was lucky i didn't faint.
the last time i had a blackout was months back..
but this time it felt serious... i dunno why...
maybe because i suddenly exercised after a long time
or maybe coz i'm anaemic? i don't know man...
just thank God i don't have heart pulpitations(irregular heartbeat) anymore...
guess i should eat more red meat...
then went to celebrate my daddy's bday at fish n co coz he wantd to eat that =)
so much for the workout, i think i put on more weight after eating calamari, fish n chips, mussels and some of my daddy's birthday sorta cake, hot brownies with 2 scoops of icecream... courtesy of fish n co... yum!
scary... a lot of people around were staring but i just ran...
eventually i ran home after that round and ran up 8 stories of stairs then went home... from the balcony window i looked for those malay kids again...
they were still screaming and shouting at each other... then the security guard of the old folks home came and interfered then they left...
my theory is that girl who was getting beaten up must have offended one of the other girls and the guys who are mostly likely the boyfriends of either of the girls so they helped to whack her...
lol.. poor girl, outnumbered... but she seemed like she deserve it coz she was so noisy!
after spying, i skipped rope for 5min, did some crunches, used the hoola hoop for 10min... hoping it'll break down my tummy fats..
after all that, i had a severe blackout. i was so scared..
blackouts are like this: suddenly, your head feels real heavy, u may fall because of the imbalance, at da same time ur vision starts to turn to darkness in the matter of seconds then it comes back and at the same time, ur eyes and head hurt real bad... you'll feel like all the blood in ur body suddenly decreased significantly in your body for that few seconds... in the end u end up in cold sweat and fear it'll happen again...
i was lucky i didn't faint.
the last time i had a blackout was months back..
but this time it felt serious... i dunno why...
maybe because i suddenly exercised after a long time
or maybe coz i'm anaemic? i don't know man...
just thank God i don't have heart pulpitations(irregular heartbeat) anymore...
guess i should eat more red meat...
then went to celebrate my daddy's bday at fish n co coz he wantd to eat that =)
so much for the workout, i think i put on more weight after eating calamari, fish n chips, mussels and some of my daddy's birthday sorta cake, hot brownies with 2 scoops of icecream... courtesy of fish n co... yum!
on the way there, i tripped over the stairs at the bus interchange! thank God i didn't fall wearing my mini mini skirt
injured my 2nd toe, the nail is gonna come out
half of it is still attached to my skin
it was bleeding, stained my shoes.. sobs
its really painful.. can't walk properly
and my ankle feels a bit sprained
i'm really afraid my nail will come off...
my toe nails are painted red... it wasn't i bet u can see all the blood yucks!
injured my 2nd toe, the nail is gonna come out
half of it is still attached to my skin
it was bleeding, stained my shoes.. sobs
its really painful.. can't walk properly
and my ankle feels a bit sprained
i'm really afraid my nail will come off...
my toe nails are painted red... it wasn't i bet u can see all the blood yucks!
da pain is simply excruciating...
if i press my nail u can see the blood oozing 
out...
out...yuck!!!!
so disgusted by myself
my big toe and 3rd toe hurts too
my big toenail cracked a tiny bit too
sobs
i don't know wad to do...
sobs
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
clueless... @5:12:00 PMno more projects!!!
woohooooo
so happy so very happy...
a break, finally, from all the crappy sch projects
valentine's day was fun...
saw zi n christine at coffee bean
saw a lot of weird pple and awkward sec sch kids..
there's one person which i felt was really funny
she was from pasir ris sec i think? probably sec 2?
she was holding roses, i think only 1? in those shiny plastic wrap
and she was holding it like how u would hold dirty socks,
or something like when someone ask u to throw away dirty tissue for him/her
that way... like if she holds it close to her or with her whole hand instead of fingertips,
she will die of some disease!
lol... weird girl...
<-- my 2nd sister received flowers from a secret admirer lol.. 12 rose bouquet and the roses are really nice it's really the nicest roses i've ever seen, they look like velvet! yeah... sharon from wingtai asia called me 4 times, n i missed it... yawn i'm going down to the office on thursday to look around n stuff hopefully we can arrange where i'll be located at i'll be doing customer service, and visuals? most prob i pray i pray i'll be situated in TOPSHOP, anywhere in singapore as long as its topshop! lol... zi ruby n tiff are already eyeing my discounts =P can't wait! please remind me that when i work i have to save at least 40% of my pay.. i haven't saved $ since.... never!
woohooooo
so happy so very happy...
a break, finally, from all the crappy sch projects
valentine's day was fun...
saw zi n christine at coffee bean
saw a lot of weird pple and awkward sec sch kids..
there's one person which i felt was really funny
she was from pasir ris sec i think? probably sec 2?
she was holding roses, i think only 1? in those shiny plastic wrap
and she was holding it like how u would hold dirty socks,
or something like when someone ask u to throw away dirty tissue for him/her
that way... like if she holds it close to her or with her whole hand instead of fingertips,
she will die of some disease!
lol... weird girl...
<-- my 2nd sister received flowers from a secret admirer lol.. 12 rose bouquet and the roses are really nice it's really the nicest roses i've ever seen, they look like velvet! yeah... sharon from wingtai asia called me 4 times, n i missed it... yawn i'm going down to the office on thursday to look around n stuff hopefully we can arrange where i'll be located at i'll be doing customer service, and visuals? most prob i pray i pray i'll be situated in TOPSHOP, anywhere in singapore as long as its topshop! lol... zi ruby n tiff are already eyeing my discounts =P can't wait! please remind me that when i work i have to save at least 40% of my pay.. i haven't saved $ since.... never!
saw this at island shop, paragon.^^^
its white, with pink thread just like the color i used for these words
really sweet looking...
its on 70% discount, it used to be 70 plus? now $24
cheap right?
however, this is the smallest size, size 6.. and its too big...
doesn't seem like right? but it is if i move u'll see my bra n everything
maybe i'll buy it n not wear a bra lol...
OKAY! i've decided to get it...
i've never like bought a dress haha
anyone wanna watch 'rumor has it'?
da one with jennifer aniston as lead actress?
da one with jennifer aniston as lead actress?
Thursday, February 09, 2006
love is in the air @6:18:00 PMyes!!!
i've finally got an offer for my internship
Wing Tai Clothing Pte Ltd.
they're responsible for TOPSHOP, TOPMAN, dorothy perkins, U2, G2000, NIKE men and women, warehouse...
i'm lovin' it... thank God...
i was starting to get really worried when nobody replied me
like page one publishing and I-S magazine and JUICE magazine.. their magazines are really cool i would love to work there.. i like Naughty by Nature pte ltd too.. they're a make over company.. quite cool.. charlie lim photography is real cool too...
but at least i have an offer now.. better than nothing and its not too bad..
i get to do the visual merchandising and stuff..
although she said they don't need pple to do for topshop, i hope during the 8 short weeks she'll let me do something for topshop..
it'll be a DREAM come true.... hehe
Wing Tai Clothing here i comeeeeeee......
anyway i can't wait for V-Day... no not bcoz i have a date but bcoz my last project is due on that day so i can be over and done with all the projects!
yay!
every single february edition of whatever magazines are all talking about sex and v-day.. lol.. like sexy lingerie to buy and blah... i guess on v-day every where will be packed...
and everywhere will be couples, couples and more couples...
i recently met up wit a guy friend and he used to have a gf, short term kind and they've broken off and valentine's day is coming and i can feel his 'flirting' energy is back on... he suddenly starts hitting on every single girl on earth... yawn... what a loser...
i've finally got an offer for my internship
Wing Tai Clothing Pte Ltd.
they're responsible for TOPSHOP, TOPMAN, dorothy perkins, U2, G2000, NIKE men and women, warehouse...
i'm lovin' it... thank God...
i was starting to get really worried when nobody replied me
like page one publishing and I-S magazine and JUICE magazine.. their magazines are really cool i would love to work there.. i like Naughty by Nature pte ltd too.. they're a make over company.. quite cool.. charlie lim photography is real cool too...
but at least i have an offer now.. better than nothing and its not too bad..
i get to do the visual merchandising and stuff..
although she said they don't need pple to do for topshop, i hope during the 8 short weeks she'll let me do something for topshop..
it'll be a DREAM come true.... hehe
Wing Tai Clothing here i comeeeeeee......
anyway i can't wait for V-Day... no not bcoz i have a date but bcoz my last project is due on that day so i can be over and done with all the projects!
yay!
every single february edition of whatever magazines are all talking about sex and v-day.. lol.. like sexy lingerie to buy and blah... i guess on v-day every where will be packed...
and everywhere will be couples, couples and more couples...
i recently met up wit a guy friend and he used to have a gf, short term kind and they've broken off and valentine's day is coming and i can feel his 'flirting' energy is back on... he suddenly starts hitting on every single girl on earth... yawn... what a loser...
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
a touch from heaven @11:08:00 PMsupposed to do my psychology homework for the presentation tmr however,
i chose to watch CCC's service on 5 feb 6pm...
nikki fletcher..
it was great... she sang a new song i don't know the title but it goes like this...
all of my life i've long for You
be by my side, show me through
i need You more with everyday
here at the cross is where i'll stand
Jesus, lead me
restore my soul
i'll walk as You guide me
Your goodness follows me
my soul delights of Your greatness we sing
my soul delights as we worship our King
followed by the chorus of how great is our God and how great thou art..
'which is then sings my soul my savior God to thee........'
u know?
yeah... it was just perfectly put together...
i love songs with simple and little lyrics but great big meanings...
more than that, the anointing...
as i wrote down the lyrics and thought about some songs
i felt the scene was so familiar...
de javu
recalled pst. kong's message on de javu...
watched the delirious service a few times then proceeded on to do my psycho stuffs...
feel really happy today compared to the past few days..
i guess it was the music, it seems to lift me up.
i figured more chords on guitar and piano for more songs...
sense of achievement...
i wish i could do this for the rest of my life..
its just a special feeling but sometimes i feel its not my hands that are playing...
probably Jesus' hands... lol but i'm truly thankful for such a gift..
thank God for music... or else life would be such a bore..
craving for coffee *hints*
Sunday, February 05, 2006
fetish! @9:30:00 PMwent ktv last night, slept real late and woke up at 11.45am no mood to do project man
but no choice.. have to hand it up tmr.
spent the whole afternoon doing my Digital Imaging project.
the topic is about fetish!
And i chose magazines!
i've really got a fetish for magz coz i can't stop buying them..
unless i've got no money...
Since my sister stopped buying, i have been buying...
just like to look through and see stuff... or read interesting articles..
so i have to do 3 digitally edited pieces.. take a no. of photographs and place them together and make it work.. so they will look something like david lachapelle (http://www.davidlachapelle.com)
i love his works, very playful and contrasty kinda thing going on.
but he likes to take nude and s&m stuff so he's like banned i think? if i remembered what teng hong said correctly.. my DI lecturer...
he gave me really good advises on how to change my work and it looks much better now.
take a look!
just in case u're wondering, thats actually my eldest sis i asked her to pose for me. hehe.. for this pic i used 5 different pictures and put them together.. well blended?
i love this one the most!
the last one is not complete, no idea what to do..
tenghong said i should put my picture on the cover of all the magazines in the collage of mag covers i did earlier. but its really difficult and i gave up.. thinking of letting the whole composition be a magazine cover itself with various magazine covers on its cover page. hehe
anyway i had a photograph session just now for this project..
i was the model and the photographer haha..
set my digicam to 10sec countdown.. so it was easy just that i had to run around...
modelling is tiring haha if i had a nice backdrop and appropriate lighting it would have been perrrrrfect!
look like i'm pouting or like trying to kiss and have no white in my eyes? haha
hehe....
makeupless in the last pic.. hehe...
putting make up takes only like the most 15min, really easy but getting it off is difficult..
always don't feel clean.. espeically when u use mascara..i put like 3 layers of it make up remover doesn't help much... everytime when i rub my eyes the next morning when i wake up bits of the mascara will come off..
took over 30 photos and in the end
i only used 1 for my project... yawn...
ahhhhh!!! Delirious came today!!!Martin Smith is handsome, steals da limelight of the other band members but well they really flow well together and i like the drummer too coz he plays really well and i love their songs...
there's just simply soooo much to like about them...
there's just something different about them this time round i really don't know why, their just different from the last time i saw them which was during the Festival of Praise last year.
Their songs are really nice and really contemporary.
enjoyed every single moment of the service...
it was simply spectacular and was such great fun to praise and worship God wit them...
ahhh it was just great!
Martin Smith is charming, i suppose he's quite old like late 30s? coz he already has 5 kids can u believe it? lucky woman. i wouldn't mind having such a husband that can serenade and romance u with his voice and charms and even better, he loves God.
i wish, i wish, i wish for a husband like that too =P
lol, timo keeps pushing me to get a boyfriend everytime during service or anything if someone talks abt getting married or bf n gf he'll nudge me non-stop and smile cheekily at me saying i need to get a boyfriend.
well, if someone like martin smith appears i'll chiong ah!!!
lol, just kidding i'm really shy actually =)
Anyway, there was one part where he held a note for like 20 over seconds?
AND THEN he inhaled for a tiny breath of air and continued with a big long note again..
and it was powerful ok?
very few pple can do that successfully and he's one of them
cool.. it really shocked me...
and that's when i started to admire him more...
i really admire great singers, and great God-loving singers even more.
Such as Darlene, Nikki Fletcher, Sister Annabel and Brother Calvin...
Their my favourites...
they're really great, great voice, great talent, devoted to God plus they look great too.
i like to observe their voice and learn from them but its not easy, i end up impersonating instead. Which i don't really like because i feel to be a good singer you have to have your own style, to be an even greater singer u've gotta learn the techniques to improve your voice constantly.
thats my goal in life, to be a great singer for God.
if i were to ever lose my voice and become dumb i'll really crumble.
bcoz da one thing i feel i can do is singing and only singing. i'm not very good at other stuff hehe...
happy happy...
Thursday, February 02, 2006
crying - a sign of weakness? @2:18:00 AMits getting harder and harder to fall asleep each night...
i don't know why...
too many thoughts? too many worries?
even when i finally sleep i get tormented by nightmares of the things i fear and dread...
it's all too real and really seem to be the things that deep down in my heart, i fear will happen...
i can't describe how torturing it is... when its day it's so easy to forget but when it gets darker into the night it all creeps back...
when i finally decide to open up n share it with someone, it almost seems like the door just slammed right at my face and i wonder why bother saying? does it matter? its my freaking problem and who's gonna wanna listen or even hear me cry?
a good friend is hard to find, a friend who'll meet urs needs is even harder to find.. but no ones perfect even i don't think i'm a person who can meet pple's needs i only empathize...
i remember once i was so depressed i couldn't help it but start to cry and the person with me didn't know why and kept asking but it was hard to explain bcoz i was too overwhelmed to even talk.. however, the person wasn't very patient to wait for me to say instead got kinda pissed off that i wouldn't open my mouth...
haha.. how ironic... honestly i would have committed suicide that day if i didn't know Christ but that fine day i realized not to expect much of others...
but is crying a sign of weakness?
my psychology lecturer once asked my class that...
i feel that most people or rather most guys see crying as a sign of weakness, or something that's not very macho or manly..
but to think of it, crying is a way of expressing emotions
just like violence, when u're angry u hit someone out of anger right? not because u are weak or strong.
crying can be the most excruciating thing in the world, u feel like vomitting and coughing and sniffing all at one time, can't breathe bcoz ur nose is so blocked up and ur chest is tight, feel like all the tears flowing from your eyes will cause a drought in your body, feel like your eyes are getting smaller and smaller as the flesh around it starts to swell and the minute u look into the light u feel like a vampire thirsty for darkness, feel naked and exposed, feel like ur heart is getting squashed repeatedly and your chest explode any moment.
crying - a weakness? thats quite a lot of things to deal with there if u're not strong u'll probably jump out the window.
i don't know why...
too many thoughts? too many worries?
even when i finally sleep i get tormented by nightmares of the things i fear and dread...
it's all too real and really seem to be the things that deep down in my heart, i fear will happen...
i can't describe how torturing it is... when its day it's so easy to forget but when it gets darker into the night it all creeps back...
when i finally decide to open up n share it with someone, it almost seems like the door just slammed right at my face and i wonder why bother saying? does it matter? its my freaking problem and who's gonna wanna listen or even hear me cry?
a good friend is hard to find, a friend who'll meet urs needs is even harder to find.. but no ones perfect even i don't think i'm a person who can meet pple's needs i only empathize...
i remember once i was so depressed i couldn't help it but start to cry and the person with me didn't know why and kept asking but it was hard to explain bcoz i was too overwhelmed to even talk.. however, the person wasn't very patient to wait for me to say instead got kinda pissed off that i wouldn't open my mouth...
haha.. how ironic... honestly i would have committed suicide that day if i didn't know Christ but that fine day i realized not to expect much of others...
but is crying a sign of weakness?
my psychology lecturer once asked my class that...
i feel that most people or rather most guys see crying as a sign of weakness, or something that's not very macho or manly..
but to think of it, crying is a way of expressing emotions
just like violence, when u're angry u hit someone out of anger right? not because u are weak or strong.
crying can be the most excruciating thing in the world, u feel like vomitting and coughing and sniffing all at one time, can't breathe bcoz ur nose is so blocked up and ur chest is tight, feel like all the tears flowing from your eyes will cause a drought in your body, feel like your eyes are getting smaller and smaller as the flesh around it starts to swell and the minute u look into the light u feel like a vampire thirsty for darkness, feel naked and exposed, feel like ur heart is getting squashed repeatedly and your chest explode any moment.
crying - a weakness? thats quite a lot of things to deal with there if u're not strong u'll probably jump out the window.
crying is a reaction to a situation, a variable.
then he asked, "if your boyfriend cries will you still accept him?"
the whole class became so quiet.
interesting question eh?
until now, i don't know what my answer would be.
tricky...
then he asked, "if your boyfriend cries will you still accept him?"
the whole class became so quiet.
interesting question eh?
until now, i don't know what my answer would be.
tricky...
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
there's hope! @9:36:00 PMsupposed to watch 'fearless' with my parents.
but had to study for psychology.
had dinner at KFC wit my 2nd sis and talked about school and attachment stuffs
then she told me she could help me coz she has many many contacts of publishing or design firms..
i really wanted to slap myself, i should have asked my sister long ago for help, she does events so she obviously knows a lot of people.. how dumb could i have been
anyway, she's gonna help me email some companies and see if they want interns like me.
i've really given up on advertising bcoz its really tough and a lot of work is required and i guess i'm not up to that kind of standard whether intern or not.
i'm really really hoping to get into asia city publishing group which does I-S magazine or Octopus group!
i pray i'll get a job there as an intern, i'm really running out of time... gotta confirm my internship company with my lecturer by 15 feb. this week most people are on leave so next week is really critical i've gotta get ALL my interviews done with and secure a place hopefully by next week...
thank God for my sister or else i won't know where to look for a job... i'll probably go all the way to singapore press holdings at ang mo kio as lime magazine wants an intern.
God help me.
hope all goes well.
spent an afternoon studying for my psychology test..
its really tough and complex.. i thought it would be fun when i decided to choose this subject but little did i know i'm getting myself in a whole lot of trouble..
this saturday is my test.. i'm really afraid.. its gonna be tough i know it..
i saw last semester's copy of the test and its really difficult, like source based questions.
anyway studying the topic 'personality' and took some surveys and both surveys gave me the same result
ESFP- Extroversion 11%
- Sensing 1%
- Feeling 75%
- Perceiving 33%
ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population. |
Conclusion - fun-loving, yet caring and gentle
living for the moment and enjoy new experiences
dislike theory and impersonal analysis
interested in serving others
centre of attention in social situations
well-developed common sense and practical ability
Possible careers - early childhood education teacher
dental assistant
physical therapist
home health social worker
public relations specialist
radiological technician
occupational therapist
travel agent/ tour operater
promoter
actor
veterinarian
special events coordinater
marine biologist
sales person
lol.. don't think its very accurate but well... its just a survey for fun.
try it and tell me ur results and i'll tell u which possible careers u have =)
enjoy!
zee
God fashion music photography chocolate black red love mildred 18 december 1987
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